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By now we all know it’s a fallacy that black people don’t struggle with mental health issues; however what unfortunately still remains true is most of us don’t talk about those struggles openly. That’s why Kid Cudi — an African-American, a man, and a rapper — publicly opening up about his battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts is especially brave.
Kid Cudi, who was born Scott Ramon Seguro Mescudi, made headlines recently after a judge reportedly granted the mother of his child a restraining order against him. But this time the Ohio rapper took the narrative into his own hands, writing an open letter on Facebook about his choice to check into rehab and the reality that led to that decision.
Its been difficult for me to find the words to what Im about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I’ve been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.
Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges.
I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I wouldve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a ragin violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I dont trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry. Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this.
I wont be around to promote much, but the good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery.
If all goes well ill be out in time for Complexcon and ill be lookin forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs.
Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. Ill be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like sh-t, I feel so ashamed. Im sorry.
I love you,
Shame is the last thing Kid Cudi should feel; in fact, the rapper should be proud of himself for not only recognizing a problem and finding the strength to seek help, but going a step further and making his struggle public. Kid Cudi could’ve simply disappeared from the scene for a while and sought treatment quietly, as so many others do, but I’d wager that act of opening up has already saved at least one other person who also knows what it’s like to have suicidal urges and never feel a sense of peace. While the suicide rate for black adult males declined by 8 percent between 1999 and 2014, the suicide rate among black children (ages 5-11) nearly doubled in the years from 1993-2012. There are a lot of black boys and girls who haven’t been shown love or taught how to love themselves and we can only hope one day they have the same realization as Cudi: they deserve to be happy and smiling. And so I applaud Kid Cudi and wish him nothing but the best on his road to recovery and his continued “pursuit of happiness.” And more than anything, I thank him for his bravery. He doesn’t owe any of us an apology. We owe him gratitude.